Loving by Ho-seung Jeong

Author:Ho-seung Jeong
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Seoul Selection
Published: 2021-10-04T00:00:00+00:00

In the river I felt much cozier than in the air. Once my wings had appeared, I had quite forgotten that I was a fish that lives in the water, and the river felt correspondingly homely.

I threaded my way between the water weeds and roamed the open river. I could see plastic water bottles or soft drink cans floating among the reeds but paid no attention to them. It was not only life on the wing that was worth living; life swimming in the water also had its value.

“Go far away and live happily for a long, long time. Don’t let yourself get caught again.”

As I pondered the words the woman from the restaurant had spoken as she released me, I felt truly grateful to her. At the same time, I was grateful to God for letting me experience the pains of death. God had given me that pain because he loved me so, and as I swam along I reflected that when I suffered, God suffered with me.

The river continued to feel warm and cozy. Then someone came up behind me and tapped on my tail. Wondering who it might be, I stopped swimming and looked back. I saw a group of terrapins and turtles who had been released along with me at the riverside near Silleuksa Temple.

“Hello, Carp, let’s go together.”

They came hurrying after me, but they were so small. Some were only the size of a human little finger.

I played with them as we followed the river, at times in the lead, at times following them. But it was really odd. When the sun shone brightly through the water, I could see strange words written on them, such as “May our wishes be granted,” “Success in exams,” “Korean Unification,” or “Park Sun-ja.” The ugly inscriptions were written with black markers. But the terrapins and baby turtles frolicked in the river as if the words were of no importance.

“My goodness, humans . . .”

I spat out my scorn of humans without thinking. They say that if one dog barks at something, a hundred dogs follow suit and bark; that was how today’s humans seemed.

I followed the stream and reflected that I had no wish to be one dog, let alone a hundred. As far as possible, I floated down the center of the river. I wanted to go somewhere far, far away, as the woman had said.

As I floated down the river, spring was coming to an end and summer was approaching. For over a month, it had not rained, the sun shone hot. The river was scorchingly hot, and the hotter it was the shallower it became. I sank ever deeper toward the riverbed as I floated on.

I lost count of time.

I suddenly realized that I was not being carried forward, I was stationary. I slowly put my head out of the water. I was no longer in a place where the river flowed onward, but in a reservoir into which the river flowed then stopped. Without

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